When One is Enough— The Pros and Cons to Having More Children

IMG-4763I always knew I wanted a child, but never thought about having multiple. I have been asked a million times when the next one is coming, and I have a hard time explaining myself when faced with that question. Do I not want the judgment? Does it have to be right now? Maybe I am just uncertain myself.

Don’t get me wrong; I love being a mom. I love my daughter, and wouldn’t give her back for anything. She has taught me so much about myself, and how to be a better human being. And truthfully, I feel like that is enough for me! I feel complete with my little family, but I don’t want to have any regrets later on in life.

My husband and I have been talking about having another recently, but I’m just not sure I’m ready— or even if that’s what I want. With this being said, I think a good old-fashioned pros and cons list is in order. Hopefully for my husband’s sake, this will help me make up my mind.

PROS:

  •  Siblings—Your child(ren) always need someone to play with! And the older kids will just take care of the baby, right??
  • Keeping the family name—Trying for a boy! We all know men want to continue their family name, and my husband is no different. I know he would be thrilled to have a son, which would also make me very happy to see.
  • Timing— this could easily be a con, but in my case it’s the other way around. My daughter is at the age where she is starting to do things for herself. She will start school in a couple of years, and I know she would be a great helper.  Also, I’m not getting any younger. I’ll be 30 next year, so I know my clock is ticking.
  • Baby snuggles— I mean, need I say more? Baby fever is real y’all!  See what I mean!?

 

CONS:

  •  $$$$$— Let’s face it, kids aren’t cheap.  According to a report done by the Department of Agriculture for the year of 2015, the estimated cost to raise a child from birth to age 17 is $233,610 or $14,000 annually. That is the average for a middle-income family with two children, and that doesn’t include college!
  • Change— Change is always scary! There are so many worries that come with it; Your routine/schedule will change, your body will change, your other child(ren) may be affected.  It’s a lot to think about, and 9 months of this is very taxing!
  • Space— We don’t have enough room! We need a bigger house, and a bigger car! There’s no way I’m fitting two car seats in the back of my Toyota Camry. Babies have so much stuff, and I have no space to accommodate. I have already moved all of my husband’s clothes to the guest room closet, so that’s out.
  • Mental Health— I won’t go too in depth here, but I’ve always struggled with anxiety and depression. While pregnant the first time, it magnified x100. Not only was I forced to quit taking medication that I had been on for years, but I was so stressed out I was making myself physically ill. To top it all off, I have a crippling fear of needles. I’m talking I’m on the floor faster than LeBron can flop. It’s not pretty, and I’m certain all my nurses and doctors while pregnant hated me for it.

Whether you’re thinking of going from 1 to 2, 2 to 3, or even 7 to 8, it’s important to consider all factors. While this post hasn’t fully convinced me to stop my birth control, it does make me feel that baby fever coming on. So who knows; you might see a Baby B #2 post in the future. Until then, one is definitely enough!

What do you think? Should we go for 2??

 

4 thoughts on “When One is Enough— The Pros and Cons to Having More Children

  1. I say go for 2. 🙂 I personally believe no one can ever be to ready for children at all. And change is always scary, but you did manage to go from just you and your hubby to you, hubby and your little girl. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely agree! I was super sick my entire pregnancy and was put on bed rest for the majority of it due to getting motion sickness from literally rolling over in bed. I had PLENTY of time to sit and plan out Everlee’s arrival and I have a super awesome family and fiancé who done everything I told them to help me with stuff I couldn’t do, I thought for sure I was ready. But we never will know the future and what that child may bring or even be like. I never imagined at 39 weeks she would need a 9 day stay in a nicu that was in another state, we didn’t even have our vehicle with us 🤦🏻‍♀️ I was certain my birth plan would go as I had planned, but instead I ended up with an emergency c section that during it, my bladder got torn 😳 I wouldn’t change any of it if it meant I wouldn’t have her anymore. People ask me when we will have another “because Everlee can’t be an only child! That’s selfish!” but I honestly feel complete with her. I wanted my tubes tied during surgery, but my dr refused. I’m like you, I’m so on the border with it. Every single day Everlee is getting bigger and isn’t my tiny little 6 pound 14.8 ounce baby and I long for that newborn smell (we all know that smell of a new baby 😩)and my heart aches because she will never get smaller, but on the flip side we went through hell to get her here (Destin suffered worse during my pregnancy 😂 I was a beast)and I don’t want to take away from her if it’s the same while I was pregnant with another. No way could I take care of another human being if pregnancy was that bad again, and with hyperemesis gravidarum (what Princess Kate has) it’s known to be worse with subsequent pregnancies. Maybe once she is more independent I’ll change my mind, but right now I’m content. And rambling 😂👌🏼

      Liked by 1 person

  2. We say definitely yes- because the children can lean on one another in the future. Your grandpa is an only child and has often said it is a bummer. You have a tremendous support system who will be there for you. Love your thoughtfulness in examining the issue

    Peggie (Peg) Queener

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Angela Bowling June 6, 2018 — 12:10 pm

    I say go for two. A brother or sister is always a good thing. Someone to love and be loved unconditionally, someone to play with, someone to lean on (like when loosing a parent too early, Shane had a brother to lean on), having someone to talk about anything to, a shoulder to cry on… I could go on and on…. Both my boys were planned and I don’t regret at all that they were seven years apart… My only regret is that I didn’t wait til my middle to late 20s to start having children because I really wasn’t ready til then. Maybe I wouldn’t have made all the dumb mistakes that I made but we can’t change the past and really the mistakes is what makes us who we are today.
    But I have great Boys and I was very lucky they turned out the way they did. They could have went the other way but they didn’t and I am so proud of them both. Whatever you decide Blakey will always be my number one babygirl…

    Liked by 1 person

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