I always knew I wanted a child, but never thought about having multiple. I have been asked a million times when the next one is coming, and I have a hard time explaining myself when faced with that question. Do I not want the judgment? Does it have to be right now? Maybe I am just uncertain myself.
Don’t get me wrong; I love being a mom. I love my daughter, and wouldn’t give her back for anything. She has taught me so much about myself, and how to be a better human being. And truthfully, I feel like that is enough for me! I feel complete with my little family, but I don’t want to have any regrets later on in life.
My husband and I have been talking about having another recently, but I’m just not sure I’m ready— or even if that’s what I want. With this being said, I think a good old-fashioned pros and cons list is in order. Hopefully for my husband’s sake, this will help me make up my mind.
- Siblings—Your child(ren) always need someone to play with! And the older kids will just take care of the baby, right??
- Keeping the family name—Trying for a boy! We all know men want to continue their family name, and my husband is no different. I know he would be thrilled to have a son, which would also make me very happy to see.
- Timing— this could easily be a con, but in my case it’s the other way around. My daughter is at the age where she is starting to do things for herself. She will start school in a couple of years, and I know she would be a great helper. Also, I’m not getting any younger. I’ll be 30 next year, so I know my clock is ticking.
- Baby snuggles— I mean, need I say more? Baby fever is real y’all! See what I mean!?
- $$$$$— Let’s face it, kids aren’t cheap. According to a report done by the Department of Agriculture for the year of 2015, the estimated cost to raise a child from birth to age 17 is $233,610 or $14,000 annually. That is the average for a middle-income family with two children, and that doesn’t include college!
- Change— Change is always scary! There are so many worries that come with it; Your routine/schedule will change, your body will change, your other child(ren) may be affected. It’s a lot to think about, and 9 months of this is very taxing!
- Space— We don’t have enough room! We need a bigger house, and a bigger car! There’s no way I’m fitting two car seats in the back of my Toyota Camry. Babies have so much stuff, and I have no space to accommodate. I have already moved all of my husband’s clothes to the guest room closet, so that’s out.
- Mental Health— I won’t go too in depth here, but I’ve always struggled with anxiety and depression. While pregnant the first time, it magnified x100. Not only was I forced to quit taking medication that I had been on for years, but I was so stressed out I was making myself physically ill. To top it all off, I have a crippling fear of needles. I’m talking I’m on the floor faster than LeBron can flop. It’s not pretty, and I’m certain all my nurses and doctors while pregnant hated me for it.
Whether you’re thinking of going from 1 to 2, 2 to 3, or even 7 to 8, it’s important to consider all factors. While this post hasn’t fully convinced me to stop my birth control, it does make me feel that baby fever coming on. So who knows; you might see a Baby B #2 post in the future. Until then, one is definitely enough!
What do you think? Should we go for 2??