“What do you do for a living?”
“I’m a Stay-at-Home-Mom”
“Oh… that’s nice.”
Sound familiar? Does anyone else ever feel judged for making a decision to better your family?
Now I’m not naive, I know everyone doesn’t think this way. I’ve had many people tell me how envious they are, or that they did the same thing when they were younger. As a new mom, these women give me hope that I’m truly doing what is right for MY family. I say my family, because I know that staying home isn’t possible for everyone.
This same double standard goes for working moms, as well.
“Well, who is going to watch your kids?”
I think we’re all quite aware that when we have children someone is going to have to watch them at all times, Pam!
But at the same time, we also have to provide for our children. Mom’s are superheroes, but we’re not f’n magicians.
I have personally done both. I’ve worked, and I’ve stayed at home. Both are hard work and exhausting! While I’m currently at home, I’m chomping at the bit to get back into the workplace. I realize I have to go back to work at some point, but that doesn’t mean my family is ready just yet.
When I chose to be a SAHM, it wasn’t an easy decision. I like to keep busy, and I didn’t like the feeling that I wasn’t providing anything for my family. Only having one salary has its set backs. We have to make sacrifices, and we don’t get to go on many vacations. My family is happy though, and we spend time together daily. In the end, that’s what really mattered to me.
The first misconception a lot of people have about SAHM’s is that we don’t do anything! This however, couldn’t be farther from the truth. SAHM’s are the furthest thing from lazy— there are days when I barely have time to shower. You start one thing, continually get interrupted until you stop what you are doing to help, and then by that time you have completely forgotten what you were even doing in the first place! It’s like being at work trying to meet a deadline, and the phone is ringing off the hook. (Except you can’t unplug this phone. That’s really frowned upon.) This goes on continuously day, after day, after day. Finally that laundry you forgot about on Monday is still sitting wet in the washer, annnnnd it’s Thursday. 🤷🏼♀️
Another stigma I hate about SAHM’s is that we are ignorant or uneducated. Or better yet…
“Wait, you have a Bachelors Degree? Why don’t you use it?”
(🤬 people suck)
Sadly, NO job will just completely cater around your children’s demands and busy schedules. They don’t care that your youngest kid wet the bed last night, and you had to run around like a chicken with your head cut off so you still can drop the kids off and make it to work on time. I could go get a job tomorrow, but definitely won’t have the time off when my kid gets the flu for a week at the change of the season.
My biggest reason for being a SAHM is my family’s well being. When my daughter was born, my husband worked nights. He literally would not have been able to see her during the week if it hadn’t been for me staying home. Now he works during the day, but this job requires travel so he could be gone twice a month up to a week at a time. To me, this just made sense that I continue to stay home. I am the balance that keeps this family going and together. This was something that took me a very long time to learn and understand, so I see why this might be harder for some people to comprehend.
The bottom line is give ALL moms a break! We are raising the next generation. That’s hard work for anyone! Whether you are working, staying at home or juggling it all in-between, being a mother is a 24/7 thankless job. It pays only in sticky kisses and watching them sleep soundly in their beds, but it’s the best job in the world! Watching your baby turn into this little person right before your very eyes is indescribable.
Now that is a true confession!